I wrote this forever ago and it no longer applies. So don't flip out. Just thought I'd update the page for once.
Sickening silence takes the air
and makes it hard to breathe.
Last time I smiled, I don't even know
but my brightness is starting to leave.
I'm slipping under the covers
unnoticed and misunderstood.
I thought life was beautiful
I thought life would be good.
We're never told about the pain
never about the guilt.
They never told us you had to take
your world and have it rebuilt.
When you're sorry for something you haven't done
and you're praying for God to forgive.
You wonder how it used to be
and how it's like to live.
When pain is expressed outwardly
on others and yourself.
You risk everything you've ever had
you risk your life and health.
Razorblades and kitchen knives
they tear apart your grief.
Bringing with it partially
a beautiful relief.
People judge you endlessly
they think you attention seek.
They never understand you're dying
they don't know you're so weak.
Telling someone else is murder
you'd never understand.
A stop to cutting wrists
is a start to cutting hands.
Hide them under bandages
hide them under gloves.
Why would anyone care for me
I'm nothing no one loves.
Don't sleep, the demons may arise
and kill you instantly.
They were closer last time
then they're ever going to be.
I'm sorry to everyone I love
I don't mean to be depressed.
My heart is barely beating, see
I'm nothing near my best.
I appreciate the things you've done
I love you all so much.
I know you can't see it anyway
but my heart is as cold as my touch.
Somehow you can see some love
I wonder about it too.
I can't see the good from myself
if there is some... why can you.
Nights as dark as space it seems
no sound but falling tears.
Move your eyes around the room
keep look out for your fears.
Headaches, migranes, everything...
they just won't go away.
I haven't slept a normal night
in forever and a day.
I'm sure it's bad when I'm afraid
of someone killing me.
Not an unfamiliar one
I'm afraid of simply ME.
I'm sorry sir, but who are you
and why are you in my head?
You're trying to kill me with your thoughts
you're trying to have me dead.
No, you still can't fall asleep
the demons are waiting there.
They'll scream your name and torture you
far past your deepest dispair.
They tell you that you're funny
though you're nothing but a jerk.
You pay no attention to your friends
because all you do is work.
You're losing all your closest friends
you're losing all your hope.
Soon it will be hard to live
it will be hard to cope.
Write a novel anyway
no one reads it all.
First two lines are commented
through the cracks, words fall.
There's nothing to hold onto
everything for regret.
Let's numb ourselves instead
burn the words on a sunset.
Everything amazing
is six feet underground.
Remorse which fills my veins
kills without a sound.
Break while breaking seamlessly
break while breaking free.
Nothing destroys faster
then lowered self-esteem.
Seven reasons to live
eight reasons to die.
Seven reasons to smile
many reasons to lie.
Love is never unrequited;
just waiting to be fulfilled.
Love is never easy
love has always killed.
Disappointment rising
happiness will fall.
Sorry for the memories
I've ruined for you all.
Welcome to my universe
it's barely even there.
Imaginary lifestyle
that's all that I can bare.
Write me out of all your lives
I'll only break your heart.
I'll look into your souls
and tear you apart.
I don't intend to hurt you
but it happens anyway.
I'm sorry, I get boring
when I don't know what to say.
I don't start conversations
I don't know how to keep.
If you think I'm avoiding you
remember: talk is cheap.
Rain is rain but you don't know
it holds me into one.
If the sun shines, life is gone
everything is done.
Pessimistic thoughts of mine
optimistic none.
So confusing all the time
nothing's hardly fun.
Black and white themed pictures
they're hanging all around.
A portal of imagination
a newer world is found.
Keeping other thoughts alive
trying to maintain.
Getting through each day
excruciating pain.
Roses lose their color
as they're burned into the ash.
Darker and darker as they go
gone in a mere flash.
Stepping stones of broken glass
air of needles and thorns.
You're starting to change more and more
soon wearing the Devil's horns.
Slip away into the night
leave it all behind.
Nothing's worth this anymore
I hope I'm hard to find.
No one come looking
I'll be okay alone.
Don't call my name or ask around
don't text or call my phone.
Thank her for her ignorance
she screwed up, not me.
Finally I'm running from her
finally I'm free.
Yet, this isn't about her
it's more about my mind.
I'm so oblivious it's horrible
it's almost like I'm blind.
Mindlessly writing the end
like I have no thoughts.
No consideration
my stomach is in knots.
This rhyming game ends here
I'm tired of complaining.
The other thing I'm tired of
is my life I'm now maintaining.
Thank you for the crazy thoughts
of how you think I am.
You're more ignorant than I am
Anything for you my dear, yes ma'am.
and makes it hard to breathe.
Last time I smiled, I don't even know
but my brightness is starting to leave.
I'm slipping under the covers
unnoticed and misunderstood.
I thought life was beautiful
I thought life would be good.
We're never told about the pain
never about the guilt.
They never told us you had to take
your world and have it rebuilt.
When you're sorry for something you haven't done
and you're praying for God to forgive.
You wonder how it used to be
and how it's like to live.
When pain is expressed outwardly
on others and yourself.
You risk everything you've ever had
you risk your life and health.
Razorblades and kitchen knives
they tear apart your grief.
Bringing with it partially
a beautiful relief.
People judge you endlessly
they think you attention seek.
They never understand you're dying
they don't know you're so weak.
Telling someone else is murder
you'd never understand.
A stop to cutting wrists
is a start to cutting hands.
Hide them under bandages
hide them under gloves.
Why would anyone care for me
I'm nothing no one loves.
Don't sleep, the demons may arise
and kill you instantly.
They were closer last time
then they're ever going to be.
I'm sorry to everyone I love
I don't mean to be depressed.
My heart is barely beating, see
I'm nothing near my best.
I appreciate the things you've done
I love you all so much.
I know you can't see it anyway
but my heart is as cold as my touch.
Somehow you can see some love
I wonder about it too.
I can't see the good from myself
if there is some... why can you.
Nights as dark as space it seems
no sound but falling tears.
Move your eyes around the room
keep look out for your fears.
Headaches, migranes, everything...
they just won't go away.
I haven't slept a normal night
in forever and a day.
I'm sure it's bad when I'm afraid
of someone killing me.
Not an unfamiliar one
I'm afraid of simply ME.
I'm sorry sir, but who are you
and why are you in my head?
You're trying to kill me with your thoughts
you're trying to have me dead.
No, you still can't fall asleep
the demons are waiting there.
They'll scream your name and torture you
far past your deepest dispair.
They tell you that you're funny
though you're nothing but a jerk.
You pay no attention to your friends
because all you do is work.
You're losing all your closest friends
you're losing all your hope.
Soon it will be hard to live
it will be hard to cope.
Write a novel anyway
no one reads it all.
First two lines are commented
through the cracks, words fall.
There's nothing to hold onto
everything for regret.
Let's numb ourselves instead
burn the words on a sunset.
Everything amazing
is six feet underground.
Remorse which fills my veins
kills without a sound.
Break while breaking seamlessly
break while breaking free.
Nothing destroys faster
then lowered self-esteem.
Seven reasons to live
eight reasons to die.
Seven reasons to smile
many reasons to lie.
Love is never unrequited;
just waiting to be fulfilled.
Love is never easy
love has always killed.
Disappointment rising
happiness will fall.
Sorry for the memories
I've ruined for you all.
Welcome to my universe
it's barely even there.
Imaginary lifestyle
that's all that I can bare.
Write me out of all your lives
I'll only break your heart.
I'll look into your souls
and tear you apart.
I don't intend to hurt you
but it happens anyway.
I'm sorry, I get boring
when I don't know what to say.
I don't start conversations
I don't know how to keep.
If you think I'm avoiding you
remember: talk is cheap.
Rain is rain but you don't know
it holds me into one.
If the sun shines, life is gone
everything is done.
Pessimistic thoughts of mine
optimistic none.
So confusing all the time
nothing's hardly fun.
Black and white themed pictures
they're hanging all around.
A portal of imagination
a newer world is found.
Keeping other thoughts alive
trying to maintain.
Getting through each day
excruciating pain.
Roses lose their color
as they're burned into the ash.
Darker and darker as they go
gone in a mere flash.
Stepping stones of broken glass
air of needles and thorns.
You're starting to change more and more
soon wearing the Devil's horns.
Slip away into the night
leave it all behind.
Nothing's worth this anymore
I hope I'm hard to find.
No one come looking
I'll be okay alone.
Don't call my name or ask around
don't text or call my phone.
Thank her for her ignorance
she screwed up, not me.
Finally I'm running from her
finally I'm free.
Yet, this isn't about her
it's more about my mind.
I'm so oblivious it's horrible
it's almost like I'm blind.
Mindlessly writing the end
like I have no thoughts.
No consideration
my stomach is in knots.
This rhyming game ends here
I'm tired of complaining.
The other thing I'm tired of
is my life I'm now maintaining.
Thank you for the crazy thoughts
of how you think I am.
You're more ignorant than I am
Anything for you my dear, yes ma'am.